Moving on is vital to our well-being.
But sometimes it can be daunting, especially when you have gien your best in the relationship or have been in one for quite a while.
When so much of your existence was tied with another person, it's easy to feel like a failure.

Like many women in this day and age who believe in order to be loved, we can expect to give more than we receive.
This is because our mothers and grandmothers and their mothers before them have modeled this ideology until we believed it to be true for ourselves.
As a result we, like so many women, tend to stay involved with men who show some interest in wanting to be with you. The mistake is in believing that some time and attention from a man, is better than no time and attention from any man.

When women get betrayed, we start to question ourselves if there is still interest.
We may begin to look for ways to end bad relationships in favour of something better.
We may even wonder if there are other men out there that will love us the way you want to be loved.
We tell ourselves that there are men who will love us the way we want and deserve to be loved and we don’t have to settle for less.

Some may hang on to the relationship, thinking that time will heal everything.
Some will be able to forgive but never forget.
Some will try their best to forget but the painful memories linger.
Some are given the choice to move onm with someone new yet chose to hang on to the pain and hurt because we do not want to start a new relationship all over again.

When betrayal in the relationship occurs,
it is time to remodel.
It's time to look at what needs to be stripped and refinished,
What needs to be updated, what needs to stay, and perhaps what needs to be torn down and rebuilt.
Whatever kinds of changes our relationship requires the key concept here is that we get to choose how it gets rebuilt.

Emotions, assumptions and expectations.
Anger was particularly stubborn to strip away; it requires a lot of elbow grease before we could repaint our life with compassion.
Fears of feeling lonely popped up like those little whack-a-mole critters needed to be exterminated.
Most of them could be gone, some would still pop up occasionally.
At least the infestation is more manageable.

I believe in treating people as the way you want to be treated.
Once the circle of trust is broken, a scar will be left behind, regardless of the other party's efforts in stitching the wound up.
To continue maintaining the relationship requires almost complete demolition of what we had strongly believed in.

Sometimes, we resist changes.
We tend to focus way too much of our time, energy and attention on what was being demolished, lost or destroyed.
We need to see life from the perspective of a remodelling project, so that we can step out of the muck and mire of the disaster emotions.
And step into a more peaceful state of mind.

Love, can't live with it, can't do without it either.
Love is the most painful thing in the world.